in response to (not so) Anonymous

One of my favourite anonymous rewarded my existence with a series of twelve challenging questions I will now attempt, with the feable intellectual capacities that were granted to me by nature, to answer.

1. Why do you blog in English
Choosing a language to write in remains a tricky business for me. When I used to hesitate between French and English ten years ago, I am now torn between German and English. Writing in French is just not an option anymore. It's all a matter of which culture I feel more grounded in - and I insist on the "feel", as identity is an entirely subjective matter. Even though I feel more and more grounded in Germany, and German friends sometimes tend to forget that I'm not One Of Them, I'm only grounded in a mini-minimal zone of German culture, and I would never say I feel German.
Where the whole matter gets more tricky, is if I try to justify to myself the choice of English. Let's look at the facts: I spent 20 years in France, 7 years in Germany, and no more than a few weeks at a time in England. I've often been surrounded by anglophones, and I usually find it a lot easier to feel comfortable with anglophones than with francophones or Germanophones. But nevertheless, my exposition to British (or even American) culture, compared to French and German, doesn't go very far. In spite of all this, English continues to be my language of reference.

2. Did you see how the LAPD dealt with peaceful immigrant demonstrations on m'aidez?
No, I hadn't. Not good.

3. I love reading you - it flows, it's taking me somewhere.
Thank you. Very. Much.

4. Isn't it about time you settled down and became Executive Secretary for the Marketing manager of Total?
This is an interesting point, and I want to promise I will not discard it all too rashly. But no.

5. Isn't it sweet how Jacques (later years) tyootwaz Angela..
Jacques (the Early Years) is much sweeter. Although not as sweet as Sarko, the early years.

6. Love you
Right back at ya

7. Gonna send Tom for his 18th (remember) a collection of music and films that had an impact on me... Hendrix, Dead, Easy Rider et al of that ilk.
SSSSSSssshshhshh!

8. Bisous
I continue to spell bisoux with an X. I don't understand why nobody does it. It seems right, proper, appropriate, considerate, morally superior and correct. Could it be that I'm wrong and have been all these years?

9. You'll end up with a ber belly - just like me - in a week or two
No be belly, nor beer belly. My belly very flat and exercised. As were my biceps last week after an intensive move-helping-mission.

10. No ten.
Typical. Ab-so-lut-ly typical. You've never been a reliable ten giver.

11. I bet you don't know who this is.
Well, you're the anonymous guy, you know, the one with the beer belly who listens to hendrix - aaaah, your name as just slipped my mind, but I'm sure we've met. Didn't we meet last week in ER?

12. So....?
And now, for something completely different.
tadatatdatadataaaa
Number one: The Larch.

stalker

It seems I have my own personal stalker. A pretty pathetic story, but I can't help being slightly amused by it. So here goes:
I got a message on my mobile on Tuesday, a man whose voice I couldn't quite recognise, saying in French "Ah, the number is working, I'll try again later". He signed off saying he was Jean something. I assumed at first it was K's friend who had left the week before and immediately erased the message without thinking much about it. I did wonder why he would try to call me. But then I realised it hadn't been JC that the guy had said, but rather JL. JL? And I suddenly remember something I'd totally forgotten.
Sometime in Autumn, I got a little scribbled note in the mail. It looked like it'd been written in a hurry, on the corner of a table, in hushed secret. It came from JL, who had gotten the address from mum after unsuccessfully asking for my email. Yes, the Brittany neighbour. The note could have come from a 13 year old, as it betrayed a rather unexpected dose of immature fantasying. It said something like "I dreamed of you, then opened my eyes and you were gone. Since then I've been looking for you. I'm waiting for you" and giving details of ways to contact him. I was shocked and amused, tore the piece of paper up and forgot about the whole thing - until the phone call earlier this week.
The phone call was followed by a series of sms and probably another message on the voice mail I didn't listen to, declaring feelings in the saddest of ways. He seems to have constructed an image of me that can't have much to do with the actual me - but he's far into his constructed fantasy and doesn't realise that I've nothing to do with it. I feel sorry for him - but most of all I'm disturbed and annoyed.
Disturbed because I am planning on going to Britanny this summer. So far I've ignored all his attempts so as not to reward him. But once I'm there, it'll be trickky and I have little enthusiasm for the prospect of explaining to this poor guy that he can just forget about everything (eeeew). And annoyed because I don't know how he got my number. Mum's there right now, but I can't imagine her giving my number away. So did he look into her booklet while she wasn't around? I feel he needs a good slap in the face to wake up.

In any case, as I told friends and close collegues at work about my stalker, it turned out that they also had stalker stories. When S was 19, a university teacher of hers had taken a liking to her and left notes on her bike, called her, checked what bus she took and where she was. It sounded really bad. I don't know how that ended. As for R, he recently ended up hassled by a girl he'd (unsuccessfully) asked on a date nearly 20 years ago and hadn't seen or had contact with in ten. For some unknown reason, she remembered that he'd had asked her out and tracked him down, accusing him of still loving her and insulting him for having left Chili without telling her.

And to conclude this entertaining piece, let's see what wikipedia has to say about stalkers:

"In "A Study of Stalkers," Mullen et al (2000) identify six types of stalkers:

• Rejected stalkers: pursue their victims in order to reverse, correct, or avenge a rejection (e.g. divorce, separation, termination).
• Resentful stalkers: pursue a vendetta because of a sense of grievance against the victims - motivated mainly by the desire to frighten and distress the victim.
• Intimacy seekers: The intimacy seeker seeks to establish an intimate, loving relationship with their victim. To them, the victim is a long sought-after soul mate, and they were 'meant' to be together.
• Eroto-manic stalker: This stalker believes that the victim is in love with them. The erotomaniac reinterprets what their victim says and does to support the delusion, and is convinced that the imagined romance will eventually become a permanent union. They often target a celebrity or a person of a higher social status (though it is important to note, not all celebrity stalkers are erotomaniacs).
• Incompetent suitor: despite poor social/courting skills, possess a sense of entitlement to an intimate relationship with those who have attracted their amorous interest.
• Predatory stalker: spy on the victim in order to prepare and plan an attack - usually sexual – on the victim."

Ah well, knowledge is reassurance. I already feel a lot better.