Angst

woke up at 2.30 at the sound of stomping and growling dogs in the courtyard. I suddenly feared it would be more police raids - but my building is so bourgeois, I couldn't imagine anyone's flat being targeted. Mine? It was a ridiculous fear, i'm not involved in protest coordination or anything. But feeling part of the extra-parliamentary left scene is enough to lay in bed with a fast beating heart waiting for a bunch of men to smash my door open and storm into my bedroom in the middle of the night.
Outside though, all was empty. It must have been a neighbour. I eventually fell back asleep.

we - my g8 group and i - spent all of yesterday together preparing for our week up in northern germany. we talked a lot about our respective fears - for many these include fear of dogs, fear of police on horses trampling sit-ins. batons.
mum suggested i stick a pillow under my shirt to let those violence thirsty members of the repression teams think i'm pregnant. even if they don't fall for it, it might still be good to have a pillow around at all times.
god, i'm feeling exhausted just thinking about the week up there and all i need to do before. my long-time-no-seen friend A is coming over this weekend (last spotted in 2001 in paris), which is super great but also adds to the general hectic.